Excerpts from a Diary

Public Transportation Transgressions

Let's pretend for a moment (yes, I am asking you to suspend belief) that all of the people on the bus riding to and from work on this Thursday morning are there by choice. I mean, they could have walked or taken a cab and many of them just prefer the excitement of being crammed into a small space with 15-20 complete strangers breathing, coughing, sneezing and yawning in an enclosed space. I have had countless mornings and late nights on the bus holding my breath for short intervals while the medical contradiction sitting next to me hacks his lungs up, obviously chewing and swallowing the mucus that has been deposited in his mouth. I cring within my woolen shell and pray for this person to get off at the next stop. I promise myself that I would buy myself a car at the first chance that I get. There are the old women with darken growths protruding from their face, chin, necks or ears. The women with the facial hair are the ones that get me the most. I am always stunned at the fact that they appear in public like this. Like someone did not remind them to run a razor over that mess before they left their houses that morning (I know that it is no no for women to use razors on their faces but at least, take a risk and maintain a silky smooth appearance).

I think the worst part of my commute is watching (blatantly staring cause that is all that you can do) the obese people, you know the people that claim genes or depression for their near fatal existance. "Watching" these people negotiate the aisles of the bus as they push and brush past all those that are standing and sitting to get to a vacant seat wide enough to support their girth. I can't imagine what it is like to be so big that you have to be careful what seats to select on the bus, or to see people vacate seats so that you can be accomodated on the bus.

I was almost crushed once by this gentleman that was niether old or senile, as he backed into his seat. I guess if you are a really big person to approach the seat without advance preparation for the landing is mandatory. He climbed onto the bus and here I am trying to figure out if he is thinking about sitting next to me, which in his case would not be wise because there is just not that much space next to me. He was one of those people that does not look at the intended seat directly but likes to sneak up on it. So he approaches then puts his back to me as though he is going to walk away. Then begins to step back. The woman sitting on the other side of him, bolted out of her seat to make way for his arrival, but still it was not enough. I was not even sure what to do, I am caught under his descending ass and trapped. I had to throw myself backwark and slid out from under him...I was clipped by his right ass cheek as I just barely edged out. Two seats away other passengers look on amazed at my brush with death and I had to give him the you-dumb-piece-of-s**t look as I retreated to another seat.

There are some people that treat public transportation like their own living rooms. Those are the people you see on the train occupying four seats, bags, blankets, pillows, labtop and cellphone plugged in and going full force. I especially like the people who think clarity comes with volume. The people the say "HI BABY IT'S ME I'LL BE HOME SOON" three times louder than they should like the background sound is so overbearing that the person on the other end can't hear them.

This does not mean that I have not been guilty of committing PTT (Public Transportation Transgressions) but I believe that mine are less offensive than those of others.

posted by Onika @ 10:13 AM