Excerpts from a Diary

FREEDOM

Remember the scene in Roots when Kunta Kinte was being whipped in an effort by his owners to change his name to "Toby", that is what working here has been like for the past 12 months. Unlike Kinte's physical punishment, I endured a kind of emotional and psycological whipping daily. What makes a group of women so utterly evil and self-indulgent? What makes them so spiteful and small, slimy in the why that they slither from place to place to weave tall tales of mischief to others. I know what Eve must have felt like after being tossed out of the Garden of Eden. Like "my God, that serpent left what he was doing, slithered his ass to a tree to bother me and mess with mine. I was this close and he found time in his schedule to come talk to me. Why me?" I am in no way comparing my workplace to the Garden of Eden, if there were a complete opposite to utopia, this would be it. Even if I were condemned to hell (not that I believe in hell) but even that I could stomach at least there would be a reason for the endless suffering. At least I could say I was being punished for this transgression or that one.

But this blog is a happy one. I was finally able to land another job. I interviewed and in comparison with 200 other applicants I was the victor, but I have seen and heard this before, so, begging your pardon if I am not jumping up and down over this new one, but the excitement is still there.

I have gotten the word from around (my informants) that my supervisor had nothing but negative things to say about me when I handed in my letter of resignation. I was a little taken aback by it all but not surprised. There is nothing new under the sun right? I don't think that had she said those things to my face that it would have made much of a difference, but I guess since it was all said in the "behind-my-back-fashion" it had double meanings - their trust and honesty aren't worth a dime!

I have found that in my 12 month stint at this agency I have regressed into an almost primitive woman. My grammar and language have slipped and I caught myself grunting the other day...the native language of the co-workers in sector B.

"Me wah monthly report in hand by high sun on 1-2-3 day of full moon."

I felt (along with a few other evolved co-workers) that all of my hardwork and natural progression in education was all in vain. So like I said before I started job hunting. There were countless reasons from the very beginning why I should have looked for and gotten another job, but I felt that i could make this job work for me. It was not worth it.

I found me another job and so rang the bell of FREEDOM. I handed in my letter of resignation and left as quietly as I had come. No celebration or applause. Just nothing. You don't know that you had something good until it is gone, right? I had resigners-regret and quickly got over it.

In closing, to all the ones that cared - Thank you. To the rest of you - Peace!

posted by Onika @ 10:28 AM