Excerpts from a Diary

Monday Blues

I am living for the weekend now. Everything I do is devoted to making it through the week and to the weekend. Friday night when all my responsibilities of the week are no longer on my back. No more letters to write, paper to file, problems to understand, breakdown and solve. I dread Mondays and seeing that although tomorrow is a holiday and I don't have it off I am still dreading the week, because for me it is still 5 days long.

There are too many days in the week. And although I just came off of vacation I think I should be entitled to yet another, with benefits soon. Like in the next month or so. I am not sure what to think of this new job situation, I have mixed feeling about my new employer, I would not have lunch with her, accept a ride home from her, go to an event with her or even introduce my family or friends to her. She is not representative of the people that I would like to have in my life and even if she were a passing acquaintance I would still steer clear of her. It is not like I dislike her, I just don't find in anyway to be a meaningful asset to my life.

I have found her to be increasingly negative of everyone and everything. I understand that in her profession it pays to be tough and direct but she applies this to everything and it does not work for me. I have been thrown into a field that I am not familiar with. I have been asked to evolve, adapt and absorb things that have no direct meaning to my life. It is like trying to learn Chinese for a new movie coming out. Outside of the movie theatre, the fact that you know Chinese can't be applied anywhere. I don't have the zeal to learn or to please her. I don't think she has any faith that I can learn, not is there any encouragement, should I just cut my loses. I have started looking for a new job. I know when I am just not wanted! Needed is another story, some people deserve to be by themselves.

posted by Onika @ 7:51 PM